Friday, March 19, 2010

Not A Very Happy Post

i dont know how to communicate with you. i dont know how much clearer i can say things to you. Why do you have to bring me down with you? Who am i suppose to turn to? If you dont understand me, who that really matters will? i find it getting harder and harder to talk to you, to listen to you, to respect you, and yet theres not really a way i can disown you. You think youre suffering alone. Life isnt fair. You have responsibilities. Just as i have responsibilities. We must all do our parts. Why cant you think rationally? Why do you keep bringing burdens upon yourself ...along with others? Our life styles are different. but not really. If you really listened to your heart and soul and mind, you wouldnt be such a mess. Why must you listen to others? others who really arent phased about your well being nor have the proper education or credible knowledge to assist you. i wish i could ask you these things. i wish we could be closer. i wish we never fell apart. i wish you adapted well to change. i wish you didnt do and say somethings that you do. to me, you are pathetic, lazy, weak. you complain, whine, and aggravate. you dont listen. you are closed minded. you have a filthy mouth and you are in denial. you are filled with too much nonsense and not enough common sense.

nights like this when i stand totally and completely hurts. i cant just talk to anyone. The ones i should be (or want to be) talking to ...ARE my problems. why? because i realize they ALL have communication problems. how is it a person like me has people like them as my closest people? complete opposites on that end (communication). maybe thats why its my major. lol yet its probably the most important thing to me personally. having good communication skills and a positive attitude.

It's a quarter after 1 and i need you now...